We all know and love the sayings, ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ or ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ but how often do we get so entangled with exactly the opposite of just that, getting stuck in a downward spiral of un-contentment and comparison. Thinking, saying, commenting and believing… “I’m so jealous of you.” “I wish I looked like you.” “I wish I had your life.” “Why are you so lucky when I’m not?” blah blah blah. Sound familiar? I’m sure most of you reading this have said or thought something similar to this before and I for one, know I have!
So as my little blog started to grow, quicker than I had anticipated in the short span of a year, it’s something that I started getting more and more people say to me and to be honest it started to annoy me.
Why?… because well my life was and is still not perfect. In many ways I felt like it was a pure and utter mess! I was struggling with my self worth, my physical health, lost friendships, broken relationships, the mess that came from “religion” rather than an actual relationship with God and a messy job situation which resulted in me quitting my first ever job last year.
As 2018 progressed I realised how much harder it was for me to actually let go in order to forgive others and myself as well as how much I wasn’t actively trying to do so. This only resulted in each one of my problems weighing heavier on me as they started to consume me more and more.
Finally as February rolled around I came to the conclusion that my mentality was absolutely ridiculous! Know that no one else was holding me back, I was the one who was doing so, by allowing negativity to consume me and holding onto the past. This was when I decided to write my first ever vulnerable post ‘Breaking Up With Fear’.
As people started to respond to that post I was kind of shocked that people seemed to think that I was being transparent rather than vulnerable, as though it was something I had already overcome.
The whole time I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared the highlights past, present or future and the few times I’ve shared the lows it’s been once I’ve actually come through the other end of the tunnel.
Writing Breaking Up With Fear was actually my first ever vulnerable post that I had written which wasn’t a highlight. Yet many people seemed to think that I was being transparent rather than vulnerable… and what I mean by that is I got asked so many times how I overcame all my fears. 😳
I had absolutely no idea! I wrote that post saying it was something I wanted to do, not something I had done. But the good thing is, it made me realise how much this social media world lacked people who were truely honest and vulnerable and how much more I needed to fill this void.
So this is me being vulnerable once again, deciding right here and right now that I’m gonna be real, I’m gonna share what’s on my heart and the only thing that will be holding me back from writing is the amount of time I have to do so lol. Thank ya’ll for reading and I’ll be back shortly. Xx
“I stand out ’cause I wear my garbage. I work my hardest and every time I look into the mirror I don’t forget about where I started.” -NF